For once on Sunday the house if quiet. Elliana is playing store in the hall with our next door neighbor and the brothers are making kirigami (which Dallas informed me is what you call origami when you cut the paper into shapes in addition to folding.) Kenny is asleep and dinner is made and I actually have time to blog, but for once I have no pressing message. This is the exact opposite of what I usually experience, which is a day spent drafting in my head while my hands run from dirty dishes to laundry but never to the computer key board. So I sit down and, after reading my Bible, I look through my journal for the week and scroll through this week’s photos on the computer.
We got a lot of snow this week. I have decided that all the beautiful, shining white makes the cold, which was before unbearable, glorious! It reminds me of Isaiah 1:18 “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow.” You can’t understand what a very big thought it is for me to picture myself as beautiful and spotless as the snow that floats past my window. I find it much, much easier to relate to the image of the adulterous woman from Proverbs- unruly and defiant she makes her sacrifices of piety, then perfumes her bed with oil and lays wait for some poor fool in the street, “Come, let’s drink deeply of love till morning; let’s enjoy ourselves with love!My husband is not at home.” “Her house is a highway to the grave,leading down to the chambers of death.” (Check out Proverbs 7 for a more complete description of my well-earned self image.)
Now I know that this description is exactly the way Satan would want me to view myself, and that to believe this self image is to deny what Christ did for me on the cross, but even accepting that my sins are completely overwritten by Christ’s righteousness, I am still well aware that I am not a nice person. On my own I am have done, and am still capable of doing some very depraved things. I’m so very lost and messed up, but here’s the thing that is amazing me. Not only did God completely erase in His sight my old reflection, so that my “final grade” says “perfect,” but He is actually empowering me daily to walk righteously- to do good stuff, make good choices I never could before. He is giving me the power to depart from evil and DO GOOD! I could never do that before! When I was younger it was like I was insane, being completely carried around by the whirlwind of my panicked need for self gratification, and even after I was saved the habits of sin stuck with me and I experienced very little victory. Righteousness has been a gift, something I trust in, but not something I saw worked out in my walk, but even as I enjoy walking through our snow decorated streets, I am beginning to feel God’s power to enable me to do. I believe He has made me white as snow- that when He looks at me I glisten and I am as glorious as the sparkling magic of a winter landscape- and I am beginning to see that He is also giving me the power to live like the new creature he has made me. It is a pretty awesome deal He’s given me- He gives me a perfect score because He loves me, doesn’t count my failures against me and constantly teaches me to do better. I kind of wish I could be that sort of teacher.
I hope it encourages someone else out there to think that your mistakes don’t have to count, and your victories could be bigger than you- that’s what God offers! Be free! Be glorious! Be white as snow!