Last week I got a new camera for my birthday. Last week the cherry trees bloomed. So, last week I took 300 pictures- literally. In between pushing buttons on my new, shiny, blue, WATERPROOF (how perfect is that for our family,) camera I was so drop-dead tired that I once had to call Kenny at work because I couldn’t remember which cupboard held mugs for the coffee I took thirty minutes to find in the pantry. I am experiencing a kind of mental EXHAUSTION (yes, it must be written in all caps,) that I think only stay-at-home moms can understand. The rest of the world has enough perspective that they can’t see how not-yet-fully-developed humans can become mind control masters telepathically siphoning off all sanity and rational thought turning their mothers into emotional puppets and intellectual zombies. I think this confusing clutter of metaphors clearly illustrates my point. If I was judging on my own scale I would write this week off- happily allow everyone to forget it- but I’m not the judge, or the boss, or even the main character in this show, and out of the whirlwind that keps me off balance and disoriented God always plants a few clear, beautiful memories. I’m glad that this life isn’t about what I make it. It’s so much nicer to just follow the Tour Guide.
Kenny knew how much I hated missing the cherry blossoms last year. Here in Korea the blossoming of the cherry trees is an annual event celebrated with nation-wide picnics and festivals, but it only lasts a few days before the wind blows the petals off in blizzards. When the wind starting blowing while I was still consumed with work and the trees were surrendering to green before I ever got a picture I thought I was going to have to give up my wish. I tried not to pout, but Kenny knew it was important to me, and he had been watching the petals since the first day they opened. So, one day on our ride home he pulled off to the side of the road and told me to get out of the car. He pointed down the street and it was still lined with the snow white blossoms on both sides 15 feet high. “Take as many pictures as you want. The kids and I will meet you at the end of the street. I may even send a girl out to join you.” I walked, ran, walked backwards, laid on the petal strewn grown and generally looked ridiculous to all passing traffic but it felt so good to be doing something just for fun, not because it had to be done. I felt free and it made me wish I could share that part of me more.
The presence of barbed wire everywhere amongst the young and growing things seems like such an irresistible visual irony.
I’m so thankful for the presence of God’s glory, no matter how I feel, or how well I’m functioning. I hope where ever you are or however your week is going this passion week is filled with snapshots of God’s greatness, glory and grace!